Acknowledgments

Thank you for reading all the way to the end
I am humbled that you found value in my story. It was an incredible journey, one I am immensely proud to have survived. By sharing it, I hope others on a similar path might find the strength and hope to realize they are not alone and that with hope, a brighter future is possible.

Although I alone am ultimately responsible for maintaining my sobriety, many have walked beside me and offered assistance. As illustrated, numerous people have helped me in significant and subtle ways—all crucial. We often go through life unaware of how our actions impact those around us, for better or worse. When given the opportunity, always choose to act for the better, if possible.

Echoes of Support
The list of people who supported me through my journey is extensive, filled with many unsung heroes whose impacts are deeply etched in my memory. Among them was Lesli Smith, a beacon of optimism from my real estate days. Lesli and I both embarked on careers in real estate around Lake Lanier. While she achieved considerable success, I shifted towards the IT field as the market downturn affected my real estate opportunities. She knew me at my lowest and witnessed my arduous climb back. Lesli patiently listened to my stories about my family, always reinforcing her belief in a divine plan that encompasses all of us. Her faith in my potential for recovery contributed to the hope that sustained me, even as she courageously faced her own significant health challenges. Tragically, she passed away shortly after hearing about my reconciliation with my family, leaving behind a legacy of unyielding kindness and hope.

Additionally, there are those whose names I might not recall but who offered meaningful gestures at critical times—fellow attendees at AA meetings, colleagues at work who sensed something amiss yet remained respectfully silent, and even a stranger on a flight who lent a sympathetic ear to my stories who insisted we share exchange contact information. She offered herself as a lifeline, ready to talk any time of day or night if I felt tempted to drink. Unfortunately, due to sync issues with my contacts—thanks, Microsoft—I lost her details before I could reach out a year later to share my progress. Each person, no matter how brief our interaction, played a crucial role in my recovery.

The train car full of Harley Davidson bikers in Durango.
Among them, a couple whose names I never learned, but whose gift of a baseball cap I treasure to this day. I’m not typically one to wear baseball caps—in fact, I own just one: the one they gave me. It’s a keepsake that holds immense sentimental value. While they may have long forgotten the exchange, it’s a moment I will never forget.

Mom & Dad's friend
Since making my story public, I’ve shared this site with those who supported me throughout my journey. Sadly, a few have passed away, including a man who was instrumental in my recovery by accompanying me to numerous AA meetings. Fortunately, I was able to express my gratitude to his wife, who proudly shared this site with their eight children and numerous grandchildren shortly before she, too, passed away.

My Mom & her friend (yes, she knows of this site, and how much I am indebted to her)
If not for my mom’s friend, I would not have met the therapist who changed the direction of my life. I’m deeply thankful to my mom for bravely discussing my struggles with her friend and to her friend for being open about their own challenges. It would have been far easier for them to have not shared those private details; their openness led to crucial support that profoundly shaped my journey. This, in turn, not only affected my life but also the lives of my wife, children, and grandchildren. Such small acts of kindness can ripple outward, touching lives in ways we might never fully appreciate.

Peggy Marateck (Roswell, GA)
Indeed, I owe my life to Peggy, my therapist. Despite the years that have passed since we last met face to face, her incredible patience and unwavering support continues to echo in our occasional text exchanges. It was a time in my life when addiction therapists were not offering the help I needed but were merely taking my money. Peggy, despite not being an addiction therapist herself, emerged as my beacon of hope in this darkness. It was she who persuaded my PCP to consider a newly released medication in the US that could potentially be my lifeline. Our weekly counseling sessions, which later transitioned to monthly, were as crucial to my recovery as the medication. They were characterized by her profound empathy, guidance, and wisdom. Now, looking back, I can unequivocally declare that Peggy's compassionate efforts are a significant reason why I am alive today. To this day, Peggy continues her noble work in the field of counseling, extending her compassion and wisdom to those who seek her guidance.

Damian Waller
When given the opportunity: Always do good, if possible
My boss moved on to another company a few years after extending my contract. It was a year earlier when he made a choice that greatly affected the latter half of my life. I don't think he knew at the time how significant his influence was on the second half of my life (he does now). When he caught wind that I had alcohol on my breath, he was faced with a decision about my fate: either sever our professional relationship immediately or grant me another opportunity. There was a valid reason behind it (I was unexpectedly asked to report to work on a Saturday afternoon). This incident led to a consequential conversation in his office, during which I disclosed a snippet of my personal circumstances.

He gave me a second chance. His choice provided me with a lifeline that I so desperately needed at that moment in my life.

His decision was akin to a George Bailey moment from It's a Wonderful Life, a testament to the ripple effects of goodwill. As Bailey's actions had a profound impact on the town of Bedford Falls, so too did his choice fundamentally transform my life and the lives of those I hold dear. Just as he saw my humanity amidst his corporate duties, I left his office carrying a beacon of renewed hope and a debt of gratitude that I could never fully repay. Like a lifeline thrown to me in a turbulent sea of despair, his choice became my salvation. His simple act of benevolence not only reshaped my world but also profoundly affected those I love most.

James M Toth, MD
Dr. James Toth comes with my highest commendation. During the early years of our relationship, despite my ongoing struggles with alcohol, he consistently encouraged me to reduce my drinking, offering guidance without ever making me feel judged or diminished. When a promising medication became available, Dr. Toth agreed to prescribe it, provided I adhered to strict guidelines. His superb care, professionalism, and collaborative approach with my therapist played a significant role in my recovery journey. I am deeply thankful for his pivotal support.

Ed's Unwavering Friendship
Going back years to the afternoon when our friend took me out for a cup of coffee. Crying as he spoke about the pain his wife (my wife’s lifelong best friend since kindergarten) and I were causing with our drinking; it was deeply moving at the time. It was the first time I started to really think I had an issue (though I knew long before, I just didn't want to face it). In response to my "I've tried so hard... but I'm just not strong enough to quit drinking," he replied: "You'll never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice." I actually reflected back on that conversation while sitting in Durango, and those words gave me the added strength when I needed them. That conversation marked the last time I needed his counsel on drinking. Thank you, Ed, from the bottom of my heart.

Ed eventually found new love, remarried, and they both fell in love with the countryside in Italy. During their final working years, they learned Italian and upon retiring, moved to a picturesque town located on the western coast of the Salento Peninsula in southern Italy. They do make it back stateside from time to time to visit their children and grandchildren.

Judy Judge
The only person who remembered, year after year…
Fighting my way back to a life worth living has undoubtedly been one of my proudest achievements. It was a hard-fought battle, with outcomes often seeming uncertain. Once I felt confident in my sobriety, I shared my success with friends and family. The following year, only one person remembered. Judy, an old family friend, sent me a Mickey Mouse Happy Birthday card suitable for a one-year-old on Mother’s Day 2006. She even wrote in teeny-tiny print on the envelope flap: “OPEN ON MOTHER’S DAY.” Initially puzzled by the juvenile card, I later realized its profound meaning. Judy explained that it symbolized the beginning of the second phase of my life, marking my true rebirth. In a sense, I was one year old again on Mother’s Day 2006.

Over the next few years, Judy continued to send age-appropriate cards, each bearing a special note that reflected her deep affection for not only Alyson and me but our entire family. She was well aware she was the sole person commemorating this new “birthday,” which meant the world to me. As my tenth sobriety anniversary approached, I shared with Alyson how significant this milestone was. She was surprised, having not pondered the day’s importance since alcohol was no longer a part of our lives. Nonetheless, from my tenth anniversary onward, Alyson has remembered to celebrate each year, though she knows forgetting wouldn’t upset me.

Judy’s cards stopped arriving five years after I got sober, due to her passing. Her memory and the way she honored my journey continue to move me deeply, bringing tears to my eyes every time I think of it. Judy would send a card each year on my sobriety anniversary, even though we might not have seen each other for over a year—she had retired to Florida and seldom returned to Georgia. Knowing that she kept up with my progress through conversations with my mom was, and still is, incredibly touching.

John Doran
My divorce attorney—yes, you read that correctly. Reflecting on those tumultuous times, it’s evident that John was profoundly adept at understanding the situation. Right from the start, I expressed my desire for the proceedings to remain as amicable as possible, a sentiment John wholeheartedly supported. He did far more than simply manage legal fees; he provided essential guidance, often keeping my emotions in check when they threatened to get the better of me.

With a distinguished legal career that has now spanned nearly five decades, John has handled several hundred jury trials involving medical malpractice, products liability, personal / catastrophic injuries, wrongful death, and a wide array of business disputes. He was appointed to the State Court of Gwinnett County by Governor Sonny Perdue and notably served as a judge in the county’s DUI Accountability Court.

I’ve also learned that John has expanded his professional pursuits to include mediation and arbitration. This extension of his career doesn’t surprise me in the least, given his collaborative approach during my divorce, which helped lay the groundwork for my eventual reconciliation with Alyson. We are profoundly grateful for his role in our lives. On the day we went to the courthouse to finalize our reunion, we were disappointed that John was unavailable.

My children
It's possible that after reading this, you might perceive me as a less than ideal father. I trust, however, that my children would not concur with this notion. Throughout those years, my habit was to drink in the evenings, allowing me to be present and active in my children's lives during the day. I was deeply involved, whether it was coaching their soccer team, crafting Pinewood Derby cars, or just splashing around at the neighborhood pool. Like any other family, we balanced our professional and academic schedules, striving to maintain a joyous household. Our faith was a cornerstone, and the house was never short of love.

Drinking escalated into a significant issue as I approached forty, despite it remaining an evening habit. This issue intensified, unfortunately culminating in the breakdown of our marriage. Despite a few intermittent periods of sobriety, it continued to be a profound problem, until my ex-wife's life-changing words.

For a stretch of about two years, I was largely inaccessible, lost in my struggle. Yet as time passed, my children and I began to tread the path toward shared understanding. Witnessing my determined pursuit of a life free from alcohol, they began to grasp the enormity of the battle I had been fighting. This understanding became the foundation for the slow but steadfast rebuilding of our familial bonds, a process I cherish profoundly. The journey to understanding brought us closer, weaving our ties stronger than ever. Today, we stand as a tightly-knit family, our bond reinforced by our shared experiences and an enduring love. This reality fills my heart with overwhelming gratitude.

Kathy
My sister Kathy was a beacon of unwavering faith and steadfast support throughout my journey. Even when I stumbled or disappointed her, she never gave up on me. She was my rock during my darkest moments, always there with comforting words and a guiding hand. Her wisdom carried me through times when I stood on the brink of despair, giving me the strength to carry on. Her belief in me, her enduring faith, and her unconditional love no doubt played a monumental role in saving my life. Kathy's support was invaluable to me, and for that, I am forever grateful.

Speaking of angels reminds me of another one that I'd be remiss not to mention - my wife ❤️.

Alyson
My wife is a true angel: who has made me the luckiest person alive
As I mentioned in my letter to my friend, my wife remembers the times I drank to excess. To her immense credit, she never, ever brings those times up. Not in casual conversations; not during the rare times we argue. If I bring the subject up, which I do on occasion, we'll talk about it. We can't change the past, so why dwell on it? Don't forget it; don't relive it; and certainly don't fall back into old habits. Instead, focus on the present and ensure that it and the future are everything we want them to be. Love one another completely.

Lastly, take a moment to think about those people that have made an impact on your life - and let them know. And, remember…

As we navigate our own lives, let us take a page from George Bailey's book and remember that our lives, too, are wonderful and worth living to fullest.